Willy Wonka, Wonderland, and High School Musical

On the last day of school I was informed that there are three possible musicals that my school could do next year: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland, or *gag* High School Musical. I would greatly enjoy Willy Wonka, even if I was forced to be Augustus Gloop, and Alice in Wonderland would be fun, but I simply would not be able to stand High School Musical. I don't even know if I would bother auditioning, and yes, I would much rather have to sing "I Eat More!" in a German accent than have to act out the "timeless" story of Troy and Gabriella and sing and dance in pointless musical numbers. However, there are many versions of all these musicals, so I don't have a clue which one we will do. Most people would rather do High School Musical, but how about you? Vote in the poll to the right.

Ah, the looming summer. Heat, heat, heat. I spent most of today googling the above plays, playing connect four, battleship, and don't spill the beans, and watching television. My parents work all day, and so I am stuck watching my siblings. IS this what summer is going to be like? Well, no. I'm planning on going camping next weekend with my sisters, my mother, and some friends. For now I'm stuck typing and typing and typing and typing...

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here are the lyrics to "Chew it", Violet Beauregarde's big number, "I See It All on T.V." which is sung by Mike Teevea and his mother, "I Eat More" via Augustus Gloop, and the well-known "I Want It Now" from Veruca Salt, whose name comes from a wart-remover in Roald Dahl's medicine cabinent. Anyway, here they are:

Chew It


Violet:

I only have one dream in life,
There’s very little to it,
To own one stick of lifelong gum
And all life long to chew it!
I’d chew it all through childhood.
I’d chew it when I wed!
If I survive to ninety-five,
I’ll chew it till I’m dead!

Willy Wonka:

But this gum here’s much better than that one!
This gum here is a three course dinner!
Pea soup, roast beef an’ blueberry ice cream!
Blueberry is the nicest ice cream!
You may feel fat,
But in face, you’re thinner!
Even after a three course dinner!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, you’re so busted!

Veruca:

That gum is gonna do it!

All:

Her candy fame gone down the drain!

Willy Wonka:

I asked her not to chew it!

Violet:

Too late, Willy! Nothin’ to it!
‘Cos I know just how to chew it!
There is no need to pooh-pooh it!
All I have to do is do it!

Charlie:

Violet, it’s so bad for you!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, dude, you’re turnin’ blue!

Veruca:

Violet, what you gonna do?
Just stand there singing “Am I Blue?”

All:

Yes, she’s turning blue, it’s true!
Oh, Violet, you are now bright blue!

Violet:

That rotten lousy gum, I knew it!
Blueberry blue and fat as suet!
I guess I blew it!
Blew it! Blew it! BLEW IT!!

I See It All On TV

Mike:

Some kids like electric trains,
And some kids like to use their brains
To earn a university degree!
I don’t share their thirst for knowledge.
I don’t need to go to college.
Me, I see it all on TV!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to sing an’ dance,
An’ some kids go to Paris, France,
While others visit Washington, D.C.

Mike:

I don’t learn a single think,
‘Cos I can download anything.
It’s all on my computer for free!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids go to baseball games,
And other kids have useless aims
Like ten days at a boyscout jamboree.

Mike:

While wimpy kids read books of verse,
I PLAY “DESTROY THE UNIVERSE”!!!
No one has Nintendo games like me!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to fly balloons,
Or play the latest top ten tunes,
While others wanna surf in Waikiki.

Mike:

I can visit London, Rome,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ Tokyo without leavin’ home.

Mike:

Take a spaceship to the moon,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ back on any afternoon.

Both:

Yes, we can do it all from A to Z.
‘Cos we got our computer!
All our stuff is wireless!
We can see it all on TV!

Mike:

On TV

,
Mrs. Teevea:

On TV,

Phineos Trout:

On TV!

All:

On TV!

I Eat More

Mrs. Gloop:

Ve give him fruit juice for breakfast plus melons und mangoes und cereals, bananas und cream!
Zen fried eggs mit bacon, tomahtoes und mushrooms, mit bread rolls und buns by ze ream!
Und coffee und toast spread mit butter und marmalahd, sveetmeats und neat treats galore!

Phineos Trout:

And what does Augustus do when breakfast’s through?

Augustus:

I eat more, I eat more!
Between meals ze cook feeds me all kinds of goodies like choc’lates und puddings und snacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

You must understand young Augustus is my little piggy, zere’s nuhzing he lacks!

Augustus:

Mom has Vonka bars sent in in sacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

‘Cos zey help little Gussie relax!

Phineos Trout:

Then dinner?

Mrs. Gloop:

Of course, is his meal of ze day ven Augustus comes right off his diet….

Augustus:

It’s hamburgers, hot dogs, und ten tons of french fries, und if I vant more, zey supply it!

Mrs. Gloop:

Augustus keeps eating,

Augustus:

Und eating, und eating!

Mrs. Gloop:

Until he subsides to ze floor….

Phineos Trout:

And then when he’s finally back on his feet, the kid can’t even get through the door?

Mrs. Gloop:

Und zat’s vy Augustus has lived in ze dining room, right from ze day he vas four!

Phineos Trout:

So what does the poor little lad do all night to prevent life becoming a bore?

Augustus:

I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more!

Mrs. Gloop:

More!

Augustus:

More!

Both:

More!

Mrss. Gloop:

He eats more, he eats more, he eats more, he eats more!

Augustus:

I eat more!

I Want It Now

Veruca:

I want a feast.
I want a bean feast!
Cream buns, and donuts, and fruitcakes with no nuts,
So good you could go nuts!
Give ‘em to me…now!

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter.
I want a ton of ice cream!
And if I don’t get the things I am after,
I’m going to scream!

I want the works.
I want the whole works!
Presents and prizes
And sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes, and now!

Don’t care how!
I want it now!
Don’t care how!
I want it now!!!!

Anyway, be sure to vote, because I want you to now!

Don't Ask

Clue - Live

I recently decided to host a Clue - Live! party. I decided that my suspects would be Ms. Scarlet, Cornel Mustard, Mrs. White, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock, Mr. Green, Miss Peach, M. Brunette, Madame Rose, Lady Lavender, and Sgt. Gray. The weapons are the wrench, rope, lead pipe, revolver, candlestick, knife, poison, horseshoe, pillow, frying pan, and ice pick. The rooms are the ballroom, the billiard room, the hall, the conservatory, the dining room, the kitchen, the library, the study, and the lounge. Anyway, in each room I am going to hide a Clue pertaining to a suspect, weapon, or room. If the Clue tells you about a suspect, weapon, or room, then that cannot be in the case file. The solution that I decided on is: Mrs. White, in the Lounge, with the Rope. You can change who did it by writing some CLues of our own. Anyway, here are all of the Clues:

If Black, is night, it’s not,
The lawyer’s plight, it’s not,
But in between, it’s seldom seen,
But certainly not light.
Answer: Sgt. Gray

If tree fruits were to marry,
Them being Plum and Peach,
Putting aside their differences,
A baby’s life to reach.
If tree fruits were to marry,
Their child needn’t beseech,
For Peach lightened her eyes,
And Plum darkened beneath.
Answer: Lady Lavender

If sweetness was perfection,
Perfection would be she,
If sweetness were heaven,
She’d score 203,
If sweetness was perfection,
Not that it ought to be,
The pit would be perfection,
Wouldn’t she?
Answer: Miss Peach

Flowers bloom,
Flowers zoom,
Flowers grow,
To make room.
There are no missing flowers,
There are no missing flowers,
So do not waste the hours,
Dwelling on the very thought of it.
Answer: Madame Rose

Order to you,
Order to me,
Order to Order,
Order to He,
Order to Paint,
And brushes and glue,
Order to me, and order to you.
Answer: M. Brunette

I stare from above,
The world is at my fingertips,
I spy a hawk, a crow, and something more,
A perfect display of all that is good in the world,
Bright colors,
Innocence.
Answer: Mrs. Peacock

Washington is first,
Jefferson is two,
Three and four are gone,
And so are faces two,
Lincoln is five
Hamilton, Jackson, Grant,
Needless to say that Grant,
Would Scream and Rave and Rant,
Franklin, McKinley, Cleveland,
Madison and Chase,
Yet not running about,
From place to place to place,
Wilson is in fact,
The highest that they go,
At 100,000,
He steals the show.
So keep your trust in God,
A color you will see,
And He of colored faith,
Innocent Be.
P.S.: E Pluribus Unum
Answer: Mr. Green

Not to be mixed up with another,
His color distinguishes him from some brothers,
Einstein’s definition of insanity,
Or Julius Caesar’s death-to-be,
Or Egypt’s Great Mythology,
All of it comes naturally.
Answer: Professor Plum

Like father, like son,
Like Mother, like Daughter,
Like Father, like Daughter?
No matter. He’s dead.
Answer: Miss Scarlet


Orange is nice, but it’s not perfect,
Red is bright, but it will go lame,
Brown is dark, but death is destined,
And Purple will lose this game,
Pink is lovely,
White is sweet,
Gray and Blue are nice,
Lavender doesn’t smell like feet,
And Green is quite polite,
Now all of these are nice, I say,
But like I said before,
None of them would survive,
In war!
Answer: Cornel Mustard

The head, I admit,
Is a venerable place,
A place to kill,
A place to race,
Yet of the weapons for the head,
One is gone without a trace,
From your elimination.
The world, I admit,
Is a horrible place,
A place to die,
Without a trace,
You will go lame without this one,
Have I met,
Your expectations?
Answer: Horseshoe

IDOLS of gods cloud with steam,
CENTERING around a dead man’s dream,
EXITING the world in some way, how?
PLEASE read these clues and you’ll learn how.
IF only later you’ll say “wow”!
1. CORRECT the errors in this clue.
2. KILL the first following a rule.
Answer: Ice Pick

The egg is on your head. Where am I you ask?
Answer: Frying Pan

Your head is weak, dead, and limp. Celebrate; the world is at peace, because of me.
Answer: Pillow

Shrimp Scampi! Yum!
Fried Chicken! Delicious!
Fried Asparagus! Great!
Assuming you’re not me.
Answer: Poison

One hit the vase. Two hit the door. Three hit the door again. Four hit the chandelier. Five hit the telegram girl. Six hit the butler.
Answer: Revolver

If the Kitchen was the hotel, I am the resident.
If the Clue was the home, am a housecat.
If you didn’t know about me before tonight, I’m surprised.
If you knew about my partner before you knew about me, I’m even more surprised.
Answer: Knife

Smoke issues like an endless peace,
But your lungs are not at peace,
Lucky this isn’t it’s use,
Although water is no less polluted.
Answer: Lead Pipe

When your asthma kicks in, I’m present.
Unless there is another source,
The chimney billows smoke,
I’m left out.
Answer: Candlestick

Fixing a pipe, but I’m no pipe.
Killing a man, but I’m no man,
Learning a speech, but I can’t learn,
Visiting a zoo, which I’m within,
Among chimpanzees and apes.
Answer: Wrench

A little game of Clue we played,
A game within a game today,
Find the game a velvet and green,
A fortune-telling magic dream.
Answer: Billiard Room

Ghosts dance by,
Frolicking by,
Wondering why,
In the room with the champagne flutes.
Answer: Ballroom

Welcome, My Friends,
Wipe Your Feet,
There are no clues,
Prepare to eat,
Cross, My Friends,
Wave Goodbye,
Say Farewell,
Eat, Oh my!
Read, My Friends,
This little note,
Remember the first,
Forget the second,
Remember My Friends!
Answer: Hall

Turn to Page 303,
Read the writing,
For the first 20,
Once that’s read,
You’re sure to find,
The answer to this puzzle!
Location: Conservatory
Answer: Library

Sit, and stay!
Dwell, today!
Place yourself in light!
Sit, today!
Dwell, and stay!
Where Alice has made things right!
Answer: Conservatory

Learn is step one,
This is step two,
This is step three,
This is step four,
It could go on,
But I will not,
Take is step five,
Earn is step six,
Although steps two-four are optional.
Answer: Study

Skinning you!
Plucking you!
Shredding you!
Eating you!
Before you eat,
And ask for more.
Where has it,
Been before?
Answer: Kitchen

Have you heard the tale,
Of Edwin McGale,
Who was so hungry,
He ate a whale,
Yes, he grew fat,
And that is that,
But where did he eat the whale?
Answer: Dining Room

I am in need of several other Clues, but I can't think of any. I might just put up signs in various rooms saying: No Clue Here! on certain rounds. Also, I added a complex plot that involved various others arriving at the manor. It would not work for everyone, but it seems to be a promising idea. Be creative, and feel free to use any of these Clues in your own Clue game.

Letter To No One

Dear No One,
The book lies open, reading is not a crutch but a wing, flying is the crutch, imagination is neither wing nor crutch, but comes from flying which is a crutch and reading which is a wing. How can this be?

Sincerely,
You'll Never Guess Who

I have been doing this a lot: typing wierd poem-like things into the search box in google, and seeing what comes up. This one turned into a strange letter. I call it the letter to no one.

Here's another letter to no one:

Dear No One,
If I were to stare at a rather square ball, would it become round? How can a ball be square in the first place? I think not, but in my sight I see one. A misfit. A lamb in a field of llamas. My eyes glaze over from the intensity of thought. Llamas devour the grass, and the lamb weeps. The tears are like the blood of the llamas as the lamb attracts lions to the field. Yet the lamb escapes. What does tell me about myself? Am I a lamb or a llama? I think I am a lamb, but is this good? Would I want to spend the day in the feild of llamas? Will the computer notice if I spell "llama" with capitol I's, as in ice that cannot support the weight of the lamb, who drowns, and joins the horrid IIamas. Yes, it noticed. But who is the villian in this scene? Are you a llama, a lion, or a lamb? Please give your thoughts to me, and tell me if the lions are the best? I think so, as they survive, and kill because they must. The llamas and lambs don't kill, but they still spread evil in their own ways. Lions being good made me think of Aslan from the series by C. S. Lewis. The Chronicles of Narnia. How good is a writer? Can a writer even be capable of good? Yes, but only bad ones. Does this seem right? I hope not.

Sincerely,
You'll Never Guess Who

I hope you enjoyed a little nonsense.

Poetry

Welcome to my happy stars glowing in the faint breezing happily joyous peace calmness here there money is extremely happy staring at the world turning towards the sun noticing writing a noticing glaring at the dog is out of the house for good god where is my child's truck rolls down the street and hits the olden days are behind us, and thus we sing in harmony, melody looked behind the house in the hope of spotting a pound that she gained by eating doe a deer I love you,

Sincerely,

Silas Jones

I have decieded to type a post that features a lot of random words in a random order. Read this aloud: it actually has somewhat of a moving story. IF you like it, here is another.

Pointlessness of it, endless, the voice of a nymph in the airily staying in the perfection of this new year's day, yet the wind sweeps and staring in the wind is a man of sole intensions, his shoes black with soot, his face a blur on the evening wind, the world at his fingertips, my life in his hands, for death is he! Death is upon us all, but for now it is upon me, and he swindles out the candle, and the world in black with woe and misery, for alas, he is here.

Does this sound poetic to you? Note to self: maybe you should start writing poetry. It sounds old-timey to me, like something ouot of the mouth of an writer for the 18th Century. Please comment - yes, I know it's wierd.

Clue By Me!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: I created my own version of Clue. I played it with my family, and it didn't really work out, but I decided to post some of my cards online. Feel free to use these cards in any version of CLue that you design. There are quite a few, so I'll only post the checklists now. Here they are:

Room Checklist Yes/ No

Hall
Library
Dining Room
Kitchen
Study
Lounge
Conservatory
Ballroom
Billiard Room
Garden
Master Bedroom
Nursery
Bathroom
Drawing Room

Player Character Weapon Murderer, Detective, or Spectator

I can't figure out how to link word documents to posts, or I would be linking you to the documents. However, here are all of the cards that I made.


Miss Scarlet:
Cornel Mustard:
Mrs. Peacock:
Mr. Green:
Mrs. White:
Professor Plum:
Miss Peach:
Sgt. Gray:
Madame Rose:
Monsieur Brunette:
Lady Lavender:
Prince Azure:

Wrench:
Lead Pipe:
Revolver:
Rope:
Knife:
Candlestick:
Pillow:
Pen:
Marble Bust:
Ice Pick:
Quilt:
Poison:

Hall:
Library:
Conservatory:
Lounge:
Ballroom:
Kitchen:
Dining Room:
Billiard Room:
Study:
Master Bedroom:
Garden:
Drawing Room:
Nursery:
Bathroom:

Who's Who: Murderer:
Who's Who: Spectator:
Who's Who: Detective:

Pass Card:

I put a lot of effort into this. Feel free to create you're own game of clue using these cards. If you want to see an image that I used ask for it in a comment.

I Changed My Template!

O.K., I really don't have any big news, but my old template was getting somewhat old, so I just changed it. I hope the new template doesn't confuse you too much: the layout is basically the same, and there are only a few major changes.

I apologize for not having posted in a while: my grandmother is extremely sick, I have been preoccupied by the NJ ASK test, and I just had a flute concert, not to mention that my piano and choir concerts are approaching fast. I'll try to post some more, but as of currently I am heading out the door to see my Grandma in the hospital, so I can't make this pst much longer. Please keep my Grandma in your hearts: I hope all goes well.