I Changed My Template! (Again)

I case you didn't notice, I changed my template. (Again)

Also, I found an intersting video on the web about llamas. O.K., interesting isn't the word, but clicky clicky.

In the spirit of this random song, I wrote one of my own. Maybe I'll make a video. Anyway, here it is:

This is the color song! (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…
Orangey,
Bluey,
Purpley,
Goldy,
Maroony,
Greeny,
Yellowy,
Red!

Orangey,
Happy,
Purpley,
Saddy,
Goldly,
Maddy,
Yellowy,
Red!

I am singing this song to remind me,
Which way is up or round or down or by me,
Because as you can see,
It starts with orangey,
Oh, purple, purple, purple, purple, red!

This is the people song (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…

Lincolny,
Betsy,
Rossy,
Granty,
Mentioning,
Davinci,
They are all,
Dead!

Lincolny,
Betsy,
Schwarzenegger,
Demi,
Patrick,
Who is he?
I don’t know.
Dead!

I am singing this song to remind me,
Which way is up or round or down or by me,
Because as you can see,
It starts with Lincolny,
Oh, Demi, Demi, Demi, Demi, dead!

This is the object song! (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…

Pencilly,
T.V.y,
Goatee,
Smiley,
Baskety,
Sticky,
Bowling Bowl,
Head!

Pencilly,
T.V.y,
Smelly,
Goatee,
Smiley,
Sticky,
Bowling Ball,
Head!

I am singing this song to remind me,
Which way is up or round or down or by me,
Because as you can see,
It starts with pencilly,
Oh, goatee, goatee, goatee, goatee, head!

This is the animal song (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…

Camely,
Cowy,
Bunny,
Llamay,
Turkey,
Deery,
Porcupiney,
Hen!

Camely,
Llamay,
Cowy,
Goaty,
Didn’t we,
already,
Say that so,
Hen!

I am singing this song to remind me,
Which way is up or down or round or by me,
Because as you can see,
It starts with camely,
Oh, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, hen!

This is the random song! (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…

Staringy,
At me,
Why is he?,
Creepy,
Spinningy,
Towards me,
Bananay,
Grape!

Staringy,
Why me?
Wondery,
Landy,
Rabbity,
Candy,
Bananay,
Grape!

I am singing this song to remind me,
Which way is up or round or down or by me!
Because as you can see,
It starts with staringy,
Oh, candy, candy, candy, candy, grape!
Candy, candy, candy, candy, grape!
Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, grape!
Grape!
Grape!
Grape!

This is the end of song! (duh, duh, duh)
And it goes…

Redy,
Deady,
Heny,
Grapey,
Thisy,
Thaty,
Orangey,
Red!

I hope you enjoyed that. I think I will make a video to post. Let you know when it is done.

Nero

A while ago I had to choose a historic figure to dress up as for a school project. I was extremely sucessful, and got a 105 A+ on the project. anyway, the idea was that whenever someone threw a coin into a bowl at my feet, I "came to life", and gave the following speech. I would record it, and show it to you, but I had to present it so many times that I am sick of it. I just thought I would post the written script:

I am Nero, the emperor of all emperors, the star from the heaven! My rule of Rome is perhaps one of the most famous, and for no small reason. Art! Art has saved me, helped feed my weary soul. My own art, my own voice, my own music! Let the people of Rome talk behind my back: my art is worth every bit of ridicule.
My original name was Lucius, but that all changed when my mother married Claudius, the emperor of Rome. She convinced him to adopt me, and he then…mysteriously…died. No one really did find out how, but…I did see my mother messing around with his goblet…she put some…never mind. You didn’t hear any of that from me. There’s no proof, anyway. Since I was older than Claudius’ own son, I became emperor. The first artist-emperor of Rome. This when my name was changed to Nero, by the way.
My stepbrother from whom I had taken the throne then died--don’t ask how-- he just died. My mother was bothered by this. She was going to use him to control me. Well, this is about the time that I became obsessed with art: pantomime, ballet, singing, lyre-playing, anything. But, mostly singing. During a time I refused to eat anything except chives marinated in oil. They help my vocal chords, you see. And I would never, ever eat an apple. They are like demons: they hurt your voice. Beware of the apples! Beware!
When I was young, I had been forced to marry my stepsister, Octavia. It was out of my control: you can’t marry again until your previous wife is dead. But I could start some relationships. Which I did. Even the emperor needs some romance in his life.
My mother didn’t like me cheating on my wife. She didn’t like art. She didn’t like me. Now, you can’t dislike the emperor of Rome and get away with it. Thus started a series of six murder attempts upon my mother’s life. The first three times I used poison, but it soon became clear that that wasn’t working. So, it was time to crank things up a notch with a bedroom ceiling that caved in while my mother was asleep and a ship that deliberately sank. Both times she eluded me. So, I felt ablidged to try things the old fashioned way. I hired an assassin to club her over the head and stab her. Guess what! It worked.
Octavia, my wife, was executed three years later for committing adultery. Okay, maybe not. That’s what you get for forcing me to forcing me to marry! Well, I then married another woman, Poppaea Sabina. A few years later she scolded me for coming home too late, and in my temper I kicked her to death. Poor Poppaea.
Ah, the burn of Rome! During my rein, Rome burnt to the ground. Now, if you have been listening to the rumors circulating, you might believe that I played the fiddle while Rome burned, or even started the fire. Now, any sensible person would no that the fiddle, or violin, wasn’t in Europe until the Byzantine Empire, which started after my death. Far more likely that I played the lyre, a harp-like instrument or sang “The Burning of Troy” or “The Capture of Troy”. And, I didn’t start the blaze, I just took advantage of it, and built an enourmous palace in the ruins once the fire subsided. The palace had a vast garden and an artificial lake--oh, the things that you can afford when you are the emperor of Rome! Anyway, to disprove these dispecible rumors, I had to blame somebody. That somebody, or sombodies, were the Christians.
In order to take the blame off my self, I persecuted the Christians more than any emperor before me! They insulted the Roman gods, and burnt down Rome. They deserved to die! I fed them to wild animals, crucified them, and ties them to poles, which I then set on fire, and made into human torches in my garden. Needless to say that those somebodies soon became some bodies! (laughs) What!? When the emperor makes a joke, you should laugh. Laugh! Laugh! Go on, laugh with me, he he he he he! Oh, ha ha ha! You’re just a bunch of filthy peasants, whose laughing now! Ha ha h…forget it. Anyway, the more people talked behind my back, the more I persecuted. Yet, despite my efforts, it wasn’t enough. The Senate didn’t like me, they were after me. Rather than being publically humiliated, I drank some poison, (gulp) and died in peace. Oh, what an artist the world loses in me!

Here is my written report on Nero that I also had to turn in:

Nero has long been regarded as one of the most brutal, murderous, and selfish emperors that Rome has ever known. But who was Nero? Was he as brutal as all the stories depict? The sad answer is: yes. Nero’s violence and cruelty made a major impact on the lives of the Roman people, many of whom suffered and even died at the hands of this despicable dictator. Nero wasn’t exactly a family person, seeing as he murdered most of his family, a Senate person, seeing as the Senate murdered him, or really even a people person: he murdered a lot of people. He was the worst emperor Rome has ever known.
Nero’s original name was Lucius Domitius Anhenobarbus. He was born on December 15, 37 A.D. to Julia Agrippina. She was banished to the Rontian Islands by Caligula, the Emperor at the time. Nero’s father then died, and his inheritance was seized. Then, Caligula was murdered, and Agrippina and Lucius were able to return home. Once back on the main land, Agrippina married Claudius, the new emperor. Nero received a fine education, and was betrothed to Octavia, his stepsister. Somehow, Agrippina managed to persuade Claudius to adopt Nero. This is when his name was changed to Nero Claudius Drusus Germanicus. Claudius’ own son was younger than Nero, and was therefore no longer Claudius’ heir to the throne. The new heir was Nero. Agrippina then supposedly poisoned Claudius, making Nero the emperor.
At first, Nero came across as a kind, humane person. He shuddered over having to sign a form that put to death some slaves who had poisoned their master. However, all of this humanity soon left Nero. Nero starting cheating on his wife, which greatly angered his mother, who started spreading some hostile rumors about him. He proceeded to start another affair, this one with Poppaea Sabina.
Nero became obsessed with the arts. He prided himself in his lyre playing and singing, although to this day no one knows the truth about Nero’s skill. Such was Nero’s devotion to his own singing that he often refused to eat apples, claiming they damaged his vocal chords. Sometimes he would eat nothing but chives marinated in oil, believing they helped his voice. Despite Nero’s own devotion to singing, the people of Rome were not as pleased. Many suspected that Nero had gone insane, and he became very unpopular, even among his own family. His mother became even more resentful, feeling that she had helped a nut to gain power. She looked to his stepbrother, who she had kept in reserve in the event that she lost control of Nero. However, he was dead on the floor, poisoned by the emperor of Rome.
Nero came to greatly dislike his mother. She despised his singing, and his romantic life. What could be done? In Nero’s eyes, there was only one solution: murder. Thrice, Nero attempted to poison Agrippina, but all three times she survived. His schemes became more far-fetched. He rigged her bedroom ceiling to cave in while she was in bed, and he created a large boat that deliberately sank while she was onboard. Despite these attempts, it wasn’t until he hired an assassin to kill her that she was finally stabbed, clubbed in the head, and killed. To explain why he killed his mother, Nero told the Senate that he had uncovered a plot of Agrippina’s to murder him, and he had to act first. The Senate had disliked Agrippina, and accepted his explanation. Three years after his mother’s death, Octavia was executed on the grounds of adultery, and Poppaea Sabina became Nero’s wife.
Nero greatly loved chariot racing, although by no means did he play fair. He would often show up at an arena called the Circus Maximus, ready to race. Nero’s color was purple, and people cheered very loudly for him at first, wearing purple and waving purple cloths. However, Nero was a terrible racer, and soon the number of his supporters dwindled. Nero claimed that his horses were not working well, and decided to hitch some fast moving, but hard to train camels to his chariot instead. The camels didn’t quite work well either, so he started holding his races at night, when no one could see what was occurring, and declaring himself the winner of every one. On a particular night, his wife scolded him for coming home too late. In his anger, Nero kicked his wife to death. He also hitched too many horses to his chariot, and threatened the other racers to let him win. Soon, many fans stopped coming to see him, and Nero finally stopped going to the Circus Maximus.
In the year A.D. 64, a great fire destroyed Rome. Legend has it that Nero fiddled while Rome burned. However, the fiddle didn’t exist in the year A.D. 64. If Nero did make music during the fire, it is more likely that he played the lyre or sang either “The Capture of Troy” or “The Burning of Troy”. After the fire, Nero helped to rebuild Rome in his own twisted image. He created an enormous palace for himself on the ground where many Romans had perished, generating the belief that Nero was responsible for burning down Rome. He had to disprove this belief, and blamed the Christians.
Christians everywhere, many of whom believed Nero to be the devil, hated him. He crucified some, fed some to wild animals, and tied some others to posts, which he set on fire and used as human torches in his garden. However, the persecution of the Christians didn’t completely save Nero’s reputation. The Senate soon set out to kill him. Rather than be humiliated, Nero decided to drink poison. His last words were: “What an artist the world loses in me!”

Finally, here is the works cited page for both of them. I mad this using noodletools.com( I'm sure they would enjoy it if you checked out their fantastic website, or even subscribed):

Donn, Lin. "Ancient Rome for Kids - Emperor Nero." Editorial.
MrDonn.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 May 2010. .

Mellor, Ronald, and Marni McGee. "Misery, Mistrust, Madness, and
Murder: Successors of Augustus." The Ancient Roman World. Oxford:
Oxford UP, 2004. 98-100. Print.

Nosotro, Rit. "Nero." Editorial. Hyper History. N.p., 2000-
2009. Web. 27 May 2010. .

As a background for my sppech I made a poster of Rome burning (thanks for the help, Dad) and dressed in Roman atire ( a toga with grape leaves in my hair and a zither on my lap (I couldn't fing a lyre). Anyway, I guess it's time to close this post, until next time, oh what an artist the world loses in me!

Pointless Stories That We Can All Glean From

Written by: Silas Jones

Orange

There once was a very old woman who lived in an orange house. The house had orange walls, orange ceilings, orange floors, orange doors, orange carpets, and orange windows complete with orange drapes and orange panes. Her orange living room was complete with an orange television set, an orange sofa, an orange rocking chair, an orange piano, an orange bookshelf stocked with orange books discussing all things orange, an orange china cabinet with orange china in it: orange teapots with little orange lids, orange wineglasses coated with orange dust, and orange dolls with porcelain hands and faces wearing orange hats and little orange dresses, and oranges sitting in little orange dishes on a series of orange coffee tables. Her bedroom was decked with orange beds, and her bathroom with orange bathtubs and sinks. Her kitchen featured a variety of orange food, and she owned no fewer then 25 orange house cats. Her body was coated in countless orange tattoos, as were the bodies of her mother, father, sister and niece. Anyway, one day this very old woman was walking down the street when a strange man approached her. He informed her that he was taking a survey, and wanted to know what her favorite color was. The woman then smiled a peculiar half-smile, and gave her reply: "I simply adore red!" The moral of this story is as follows: things are not always what they seem.

The Small Package

An extremely formal man lived in an extremely formal house with an extremely formal wife. One of the things that his wife adored about him was his love of expressions: "Don't judge a book by its cover, slow and steady wins the race, and his favorite, good things come in small packages. Anyway, one day a very small package arrived at the man's doorstep. He bent down, picked it up, and turn the wrapping paper off, only to discover that it was a bomb, and to explode along with his house, his wife, and everything he had ever loved. The moral of this story: Morals and sayings don't always apply, but that includes this moral. So, basically, there are no true morals, except for it being inadvisable to eat poison, although if you wanted to commit suicide it might be advisable, so I stand by my first statement.

Ha! A little silliness goes a long way.

Willy Wonka, Wonderland, and High School Musical

On the last day of school I was informed that there are three possible musicals that my school could do next year: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland, or *gag* High School Musical. I would greatly enjoy Willy Wonka, even if I was forced to be Augustus Gloop, and Alice in Wonderland would be fun, but I simply would not be able to stand High School Musical. I don't even know if I would bother auditioning, and yes, I would much rather have to sing "I Eat More!" in a German accent than have to act out the "timeless" story of Troy and Gabriella and sing and dance in pointless musical numbers. However, there are many versions of all these musicals, so I don't have a clue which one we will do. Most people would rather do High School Musical, but how about you? Vote in the poll to the right.

Ah, the looming summer. Heat, heat, heat. I spent most of today googling the above plays, playing connect four, battleship, and don't spill the beans, and watching television. My parents work all day, and so I am stuck watching my siblings. IS this what summer is going to be like? Well, no. I'm planning on going camping next weekend with my sisters, my mother, and some friends. For now I'm stuck typing and typing and typing and typing...

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here are the lyrics to "Chew it", Violet Beauregarde's big number, "I See It All on T.V." which is sung by Mike Teevea and his mother, "I Eat More" via Augustus Gloop, and the well-known "I Want It Now" from Veruca Salt, whose name comes from a wart-remover in Roald Dahl's medicine cabinent. Anyway, here they are:

Chew It


Violet:

I only have one dream in life,
There’s very little to it,
To own one stick of lifelong gum
And all life long to chew it!
I’d chew it all through childhood.
I’d chew it when I wed!
If I survive to ninety-five,
I’ll chew it till I’m dead!

Willy Wonka:

But this gum here’s much better than that one!
This gum here is a three course dinner!
Pea soup, roast beef an’ blueberry ice cream!
Blueberry is the nicest ice cream!
You may feel fat,
But in face, you’re thinner!
Even after a three course dinner!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, you’re so busted!

Veruca:

That gum is gonna do it!

All:

Her candy fame gone down the drain!

Willy Wonka:

I asked her not to chew it!

Violet:

Too late, Willy! Nothin’ to it!
‘Cos I know just how to chew it!
There is no need to pooh-pooh it!
All I have to do is do it!

Charlie:

Violet, it’s so bad for you!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, dude, you’re turnin’ blue!

Veruca:

Violet, what you gonna do?
Just stand there singing “Am I Blue?”

All:

Yes, she’s turning blue, it’s true!
Oh, Violet, you are now bright blue!

Violet:

That rotten lousy gum, I knew it!
Blueberry blue and fat as suet!
I guess I blew it!
Blew it! Blew it! BLEW IT!!

I See It All On TV

Mike:

Some kids like electric trains,
And some kids like to use their brains
To earn a university degree!
I don’t share their thirst for knowledge.
I don’t need to go to college.
Me, I see it all on TV!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to sing an’ dance,
An’ some kids go to Paris, France,
While others visit Washington, D.C.

Mike:

I don’t learn a single think,
‘Cos I can download anything.
It’s all on my computer for free!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids go to baseball games,
And other kids have useless aims
Like ten days at a boyscout jamboree.

Mike:

While wimpy kids read books of verse,
I PLAY “DESTROY THE UNIVERSE”!!!
No one has Nintendo games like me!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to fly balloons,
Or play the latest top ten tunes,
While others wanna surf in Waikiki.

Mike:

I can visit London, Rome,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ Tokyo without leavin’ home.

Mike:

Take a spaceship to the moon,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ back on any afternoon.

Both:

Yes, we can do it all from A to Z.
‘Cos we got our computer!
All our stuff is wireless!
We can see it all on TV!

Mike:

On TV

,
Mrs. Teevea:

On TV,

Phineos Trout:

On TV!

All:

On TV!

I Eat More

Mrs. Gloop:

Ve give him fruit juice for breakfast plus melons und mangoes und cereals, bananas und cream!
Zen fried eggs mit bacon, tomahtoes und mushrooms, mit bread rolls und buns by ze ream!
Und coffee und toast spread mit butter und marmalahd, sveetmeats und neat treats galore!

Phineos Trout:

And what does Augustus do when breakfast’s through?

Augustus:

I eat more, I eat more!
Between meals ze cook feeds me all kinds of goodies like choc’lates und puddings und snacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

You must understand young Augustus is my little piggy, zere’s nuhzing he lacks!

Augustus:

Mom has Vonka bars sent in in sacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

‘Cos zey help little Gussie relax!

Phineos Trout:

Then dinner?

Mrs. Gloop:

Of course, is his meal of ze day ven Augustus comes right off his diet….

Augustus:

It’s hamburgers, hot dogs, und ten tons of french fries, und if I vant more, zey supply it!

Mrs. Gloop:

Augustus keeps eating,

Augustus:

Und eating, und eating!

Mrs. Gloop:

Until he subsides to ze floor….

Phineos Trout:

And then when he’s finally back on his feet, the kid can’t even get through the door?

Mrs. Gloop:

Und zat’s vy Augustus has lived in ze dining room, right from ze day he vas four!

Phineos Trout:

So what does the poor little lad do all night to prevent life becoming a bore?

Augustus:

I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more!

Mrs. Gloop:

More!

Augustus:

More!

Both:

More!

Mrss. Gloop:

He eats more, he eats more, he eats more, he eats more!

Augustus:

I eat more!

I Want It Now

Veruca:

I want a feast.
I want a bean feast!
Cream buns, and donuts, and fruitcakes with no nuts,
So good you could go nuts!
Give ‘em to me…now!

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter.
I want a ton of ice cream!
And if I don’t get the things I am after,
I’m going to scream!

I want the works.
I want the whole works!
Presents and prizes
And sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes, and now!

Don’t care how!
I want it now!
Don’t care how!
I want it now!!!!

Anyway, be sure to vote, because I want you to now!

Don't Ask

Clue - Live

I recently decided to host a Clue - Live! party. I decided that my suspects would be Ms. Scarlet, Cornel Mustard, Mrs. White, Professor Plum, Mrs. Peacock, Mr. Green, Miss Peach, M. Brunette, Madame Rose, Lady Lavender, and Sgt. Gray. The weapons are the wrench, rope, lead pipe, revolver, candlestick, knife, poison, horseshoe, pillow, frying pan, and ice pick. The rooms are the ballroom, the billiard room, the hall, the conservatory, the dining room, the kitchen, the library, the study, and the lounge. Anyway, in each room I am going to hide a Clue pertaining to a suspect, weapon, or room. If the Clue tells you about a suspect, weapon, or room, then that cannot be in the case file. The solution that I decided on is: Mrs. White, in the Lounge, with the Rope. You can change who did it by writing some CLues of our own. Anyway, here are all of the Clues:

If Black, is night, it’s not,
The lawyer’s plight, it’s not,
But in between, it’s seldom seen,
But certainly not light.
Answer: Sgt. Gray

If tree fruits were to marry,
Them being Plum and Peach,
Putting aside their differences,
A baby’s life to reach.
If tree fruits were to marry,
Their child needn’t beseech,
For Peach lightened her eyes,
And Plum darkened beneath.
Answer: Lady Lavender

If sweetness was perfection,
Perfection would be she,
If sweetness were heaven,
She’d score 203,
If sweetness was perfection,
Not that it ought to be,
The pit would be perfection,
Wouldn’t she?
Answer: Miss Peach

Flowers bloom,
Flowers zoom,
Flowers grow,
To make room.
There are no missing flowers,
There are no missing flowers,
So do not waste the hours,
Dwelling on the very thought of it.
Answer: Madame Rose

Order to you,
Order to me,
Order to Order,
Order to He,
Order to Paint,
And brushes and glue,
Order to me, and order to you.
Answer: M. Brunette

I stare from above,
The world is at my fingertips,
I spy a hawk, a crow, and something more,
A perfect display of all that is good in the world,
Bright colors,
Innocence.
Answer: Mrs. Peacock

Washington is first,
Jefferson is two,
Three and four are gone,
And so are faces two,
Lincoln is five
Hamilton, Jackson, Grant,
Needless to say that Grant,
Would Scream and Rave and Rant,
Franklin, McKinley, Cleveland,
Madison and Chase,
Yet not running about,
From place to place to place,
Wilson is in fact,
The highest that they go,
At 100,000,
He steals the show.
So keep your trust in God,
A color you will see,
And He of colored faith,
Innocent Be.
P.S.: E Pluribus Unum
Answer: Mr. Green

Not to be mixed up with another,
His color distinguishes him from some brothers,
Einstein’s definition of insanity,
Or Julius Caesar’s death-to-be,
Or Egypt’s Great Mythology,
All of it comes naturally.
Answer: Professor Plum

Like father, like son,
Like Mother, like Daughter,
Like Father, like Daughter?
No matter. He’s dead.
Answer: Miss Scarlet


Orange is nice, but it’s not perfect,
Red is bright, but it will go lame,
Brown is dark, but death is destined,
And Purple will lose this game,
Pink is lovely,
White is sweet,
Gray and Blue are nice,
Lavender doesn’t smell like feet,
And Green is quite polite,
Now all of these are nice, I say,
But like I said before,
None of them would survive,
In war!
Answer: Cornel Mustard

The head, I admit,
Is a venerable place,
A place to kill,
A place to race,
Yet of the weapons for the head,
One is gone without a trace,
From your elimination.
The world, I admit,
Is a horrible place,
A place to die,
Without a trace,
You will go lame without this one,
Have I met,
Your expectations?
Answer: Horseshoe

IDOLS of gods cloud with steam,
CENTERING around a dead man’s dream,
EXITING the world in some way, how?
PLEASE read these clues and you’ll learn how.
IF only later you’ll say “wow”!
1. CORRECT the errors in this clue.
2. KILL the first following a rule.
Answer: Ice Pick

The egg is on your head. Where am I you ask?
Answer: Frying Pan

Your head is weak, dead, and limp. Celebrate; the world is at peace, because of me.
Answer: Pillow

Shrimp Scampi! Yum!
Fried Chicken! Delicious!
Fried Asparagus! Great!
Assuming you’re not me.
Answer: Poison

One hit the vase. Two hit the door. Three hit the door again. Four hit the chandelier. Five hit the telegram girl. Six hit the butler.
Answer: Revolver

If the Kitchen was the hotel, I am the resident.
If the Clue was the home, am a housecat.
If you didn’t know about me before tonight, I’m surprised.
If you knew about my partner before you knew about me, I’m even more surprised.
Answer: Knife

Smoke issues like an endless peace,
But your lungs are not at peace,
Lucky this isn’t it’s use,
Although water is no less polluted.
Answer: Lead Pipe

When your asthma kicks in, I’m present.
Unless there is another source,
The chimney billows smoke,
I’m left out.
Answer: Candlestick

Fixing a pipe, but I’m no pipe.
Killing a man, but I’m no man,
Learning a speech, but I can’t learn,
Visiting a zoo, which I’m within,
Among chimpanzees and apes.
Answer: Wrench

A little game of Clue we played,
A game within a game today,
Find the game a velvet and green,
A fortune-telling magic dream.
Answer: Billiard Room

Ghosts dance by,
Frolicking by,
Wondering why,
In the room with the champagne flutes.
Answer: Ballroom

Welcome, My Friends,
Wipe Your Feet,
There are no clues,
Prepare to eat,
Cross, My Friends,
Wave Goodbye,
Say Farewell,
Eat, Oh my!
Read, My Friends,
This little note,
Remember the first,
Forget the second,
Remember My Friends!
Answer: Hall

Turn to Page 303,
Read the writing,
For the first 20,
Once that’s read,
You’re sure to find,
The answer to this puzzle!
Location: Conservatory
Answer: Library

Sit, and stay!
Dwell, today!
Place yourself in light!
Sit, today!
Dwell, and stay!
Where Alice has made things right!
Answer: Conservatory

Learn is step one,
This is step two,
This is step three,
This is step four,
It could go on,
But I will not,
Take is step five,
Earn is step six,
Although steps two-four are optional.
Answer: Study

Skinning you!
Plucking you!
Shredding you!
Eating you!
Before you eat,
And ask for more.
Where has it,
Been before?
Answer: Kitchen

Have you heard the tale,
Of Edwin McGale,
Who was so hungry,
He ate a whale,
Yes, he grew fat,
And that is that,
But where did he eat the whale?
Answer: Dining Room

I am in need of several other Clues, but I can't think of any. I might just put up signs in various rooms saying: No Clue Here! on certain rounds. Also, I added a complex plot that involved various others arriving at the manor. It would not work for everyone, but it seems to be a promising idea. Be creative, and feel free to use any of these Clues in your own Clue game.

Letter To No One

Dear No One,
The book lies open, reading is not a crutch but a wing, flying is the crutch, imagination is neither wing nor crutch, but comes from flying which is a crutch and reading which is a wing. How can this be?

Sincerely,
You'll Never Guess Who

I have been doing this a lot: typing wierd poem-like things into the search box in google, and seeing what comes up. This one turned into a strange letter. I call it the letter to no one.

Here's another letter to no one:

Dear No One,
If I were to stare at a rather square ball, would it become round? How can a ball be square in the first place? I think not, but in my sight I see one. A misfit. A lamb in a field of llamas. My eyes glaze over from the intensity of thought. Llamas devour the grass, and the lamb weeps. The tears are like the blood of the llamas as the lamb attracts lions to the field. Yet the lamb escapes. What does tell me about myself? Am I a lamb or a llama? I think I am a lamb, but is this good? Would I want to spend the day in the feild of llamas? Will the computer notice if I spell "llama" with capitol I's, as in ice that cannot support the weight of the lamb, who drowns, and joins the horrid IIamas. Yes, it noticed. But who is the villian in this scene? Are you a llama, a lion, or a lamb? Please give your thoughts to me, and tell me if the lions are the best? I think so, as they survive, and kill because they must. The llamas and lambs don't kill, but they still spread evil in their own ways. Lions being good made me think of Aslan from the series by C. S. Lewis. The Chronicles of Narnia. How good is a writer? Can a writer even be capable of good? Yes, but only bad ones. Does this seem right? I hope not.

Sincerely,
You'll Never Guess Who

I hope you enjoyed a little nonsense.