Willy Wonka, Wonderland, and High School Musical

On the last day of school I was informed that there are three possible musicals that my school could do next year: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland, or *gag* High School Musical. I would greatly enjoy Willy Wonka, even if I was forced to be Augustus Gloop, and Alice in Wonderland would be fun, but I simply would not be able to stand High School Musical. I don't even know if I would bother auditioning, and yes, I would much rather have to sing "I Eat More!" in a German accent than have to act out the "timeless" story of Troy and Gabriella and sing and dance in pointless musical numbers. However, there are many versions of all these musicals, so I don't have a clue which one we will do. Most people would rather do High School Musical, but how about you? Vote in the poll to the right.

Ah, the looming summer. Heat, heat, heat. I spent most of today googling the above plays, playing connect four, battleship, and don't spill the beans, and watching television. My parents work all day, and so I am stuck watching my siblings. IS this what summer is going to be like? Well, no. I'm planning on going camping next weekend with my sisters, my mother, and some friends. For now I'm stuck typing and typing and typing and typing...

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here are the lyrics to "Chew it", Violet Beauregarde's big number, "I See It All on T.V." which is sung by Mike Teevea and his mother, "I Eat More" via Augustus Gloop, and the well-known "I Want It Now" from Veruca Salt, whose name comes from a wart-remover in Roald Dahl's medicine cabinent. Anyway, here they are:

Chew It


Violet:

I only have one dream in life,
There’s very little to it,
To own one stick of lifelong gum
And all life long to chew it!
I’d chew it all through childhood.
I’d chew it when I wed!
If I survive to ninety-five,
I’ll chew it till I’m dead!

Willy Wonka:

But this gum here’s much better than that one!
This gum here is a three course dinner!
Pea soup, roast beef an’ blueberry ice cream!
Blueberry is the nicest ice cream!
You may feel fat,
But in face, you’re thinner!
Even after a three course dinner!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, you’re so busted!

Veruca:

That gum is gonna do it!

All:

Her candy fame gone down the drain!

Willy Wonka:

I asked her not to chew it!

Violet:

Too late, Willy! Nothin’ to it!
‘Cos I know just how to chew it!
There is no need to pooh-pooh it!
All I have to do is do it!

Charlie:

Violet, it’s so bad for you!

Mike:

Yo, Violet, dude, you’re turnin’ blue!

Veruca:

Violet, what you gonna do?
Just stand there singing “Am I Blue?”

All:

Yes, she’s turning blue, it’s true!
Oh, Violet, you are now bright blue!

Violet:

That rotten lousy gum, I knew it!
Blueberry blue and fat as suet!
I guess I blew it!
Blew it! Blew it! BLEW IT!!

I See It All On TV

Mike:

Some kids like electric trains,
And some kids like to use their brains
To earn a university degree!
I don’t share their thirst for knowledge.
I don’t need to go to college.
Me, I see it all on TV!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to sing an’ dance,
An’ some kids go to Paris, France,
While others visit Washington, D.C.

Mike:

I don’t learn a single think,
‘Cos I can download anything.
It’s all on my computer for free!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids go to baseball games,
And other kids have useless aims
Like ten days at a boyscout jamboree.

Mike:

While wimpy kids read books of verse,
I PLAY “DESTROY THE UNIVERSE”!!!
No one has Nintendo games like me!

Mrs. Teevea:

Some kids like to fly balloons,
Or play the latest top ten tunes,
While others wanna surf in Waikiki.

Mike:

I can visit London, Rome,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ Tokyo without leavin’ home.

Mike:

Take a spaceship to the moon,

Mrs. Teevea:

An’ back on any afternoon.

Both:

Yes, we can do it all from A to Z.
‘Cos we got our computer!
All our stuff is wireless!
We can see it all on TV!

Mike:

On TV

,
Mrs. Teevea:

On TV,

Phineos Trout:

On TV!

All:

On TV!

I Eat More

Mrs. Gloop:

Ve give him fruit juice for breakfast plus melons und mangoes und cereals, bananas und cream!
Zen fried eggs mit bacon, tomahtoes und mushrooms, mit bread rolls und buns by ze ream!
Und coffee und toast spread mit butter und marmalahd, sveetmeats und neat treats galore!

Phineos Trout:

And what does Augustus do when breakfast’s through?

Augustus:

I eat more, I eat more!
Between meals ze cook feeds me all kinds of goodies like choc’lates und puddings und snacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

You must understand young Augustus is my little piggy, zere’s nuhzing he lacks!

Augustus:

Mom has Vonka bars sent in in sacks!

Mrs. Gloop:

‘Cos zey help little Gussie relax!

Phineos Trout:

Then dinner?

Mrs. Gloop:

Of course, is his meal of ze day ven Augustus comes right off his diet….

Augustus:

It’s hamburgers, hot dogs, und ten tons of french fries, und if I vant more, zey supply it!

Mrs. Gloop:

Augustus keeps eating,

Augustus:

Und eating, und eating!

Mrs. Gloop:

Until he subsides to ze floor….

Phineos Trout:

And then when he’s finally back on his feet, the kid can’t even get through the door?

Mrs. Gloop:

Und zat’s vy Augustus has lived in ze dining room, right from ze day he vas four!

Phineos Trout:

So what does the poor little lad do all night to prevent life becoming a bore?

Augustus:

I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more! I eat more!

Mrs. Gloop:

More!

Augustus:

More!

Both:

More!

Mrss. Gloop:

He eats more, he eats more, he eats more, he eats more!

Augustus:

I eat more!

I Want It Now

Veruca:

I want a feast.
I want a bean feast!
Cream buns, and donuts, and fruitcakes with no nuts,
So good you could go nuts!
Give ‘em to me…now!

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter.
I want a ton of ice cream!
And if I don’t get the things I am after,
I’m going to scream!

I want the works.
I want the whole works!
Presents and prizes
And sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes, and now!

Don’t care how!
I want it now!
Don’t care how!
I want it now!!!!

Anyway, be sure to vote, because I want you to now!